The “softer side” of coaching refers to the psychological, emotional, and communication skills that coaches and trainers rely on to better empower their clients. While strength training and building lean muscle mass may top a client’s list, qualities such as empathy, active listening, and built-in accountability will drive lasting behavior change, prevent burnout, and build a deeper bond of trust. This article explores power skills (commonly known as ‘soft skills’) for personal trainers and how mastering them can improve your success as a professional. Clients do not care how much you know, as long as they know how much you care.
Replacing the Outdated “Drill Sergeant”
When most individuals think of personal training, their minds may conjure up words like “strength”, “power”, “physical overload”, “reps and sets”, and “hard core workouts”. Traditionally, our industry has focused on all of these aspects when describing a typical gym session.
Recently, however, it has come to light that the most effective trainers and coaches achieve the best results by including a softer, more personal approach. A supportive coach or personal trainer can demonstrate that they care about their clients beyond their physical goals.
Success in the gym encompasses more than simply lifting progressively heavier weights; it also includes setting the stage for a client’s positive mindset. A supportive coach can provide personalized accountability to help clients stay consistent through plateaus and setbacks, teaching them to reframe negative self-talk as growth potential.
Creating a Stronger Connection to the Workout Endeavor
In order for personal trainers to succeed at incorporating softer skills into their everyday work, they must understand the finer points of the following key pillars:
- Communication
- Relationship/Trust
- Emotional Intelligence
- Adaptability
- Organization
- Leadership
We will delve into each of these platforms, learning how subtle shifts in trainers’ behavior can lead to great strides for the athletes we train.
Communication
Communication exists as a two-way street. We can liken effective coaching to a playground teeter-totter. Sitting on one end we have technical and hands-on components; on the other end sits the understanding that we work with and train humans and not robots.
The trainer’s goal does not lie in balancing these two components; that would give us a stagnant, horizontal teeter-totter. However, we must not set up a scenario where one end of the teeter-totter dominates the other. The goal is to find the unique blend for each client, discovering what each individual needs to keep the teeter-totter constantly in motion.
Sometimes the heavier-handed approach will seem successful; at other points in their training, a client might make the greatest progress when they sit down with an empathic coach and engage in a heartfelt conversation. This back-and-forth will fluctuate constantly, and an effective trainer learns to read their client’s energy, stress level, fears and frustrations and keep the teeter-totter moving.
Communication skills can take on various forms. Non-verbal communication involves using body language and listening effectively. As one trainer notes, “We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Verbal communication, on the other hand, works optimally when delivered in a clear, concise, and individualized manner. As a key example, coaches must frequently ask a client for feedback to ensure they fully understand an exercise or concept before moving on to the next one.
A Relationship Built on Mutual Trust
Soft skills serve an essential role in cultivating a strong client/trainer relationship. This bond, in turn, fosters a positive environment for training while also helping maintain a high-level work ethic. Soft skills can go a long way towards providing outstanding customer service.
The building blocks of a successful relationship include many varied concepts. Empathy demonstrates that the coach understands and can embrace/work with their client’s feelings. Adopting a positive attitude shows clients a willingness to remain supportive and enthusiastic, particularly when a trainer encourages a client about their progress. An air of professionalism enables the coach to set clear boundaries between themselves and their client while still remaining connected. The client must discern that their trainer cares about them as a person; genuine, consistent behavior earns trust.
Emotional Intelligence
A client will often hire a personal trainer either on a friend’s recommendation or based on a review of the trainer’s professional expertise. However, many clients simply seek out a trainer who can answer the question, “Do you understand me?” affirmatively.
Emotional intelligence requires many things of a successful coach:
- An air of self-awareness
- Self-regulation: responding instead of reacting
- Acute social awareness
- Relationship management
Many strength and conditioning coaches adopt a very strong personal persona, trying to give clients the impression that they always know what to do in every workout-related situation. They often hide their personal vulnerabilities rather than choosing to share past struggles. However, only by opening up can coaches utilize this aspect of emotional intelligence to positively influence their clients. If a client currently dealing with physical setbacks from an illness or injury knows that their trainer has also experienced a similar set of circumstances, they can feed off each other for support and guidance, turning vulnerability into a learning tool for moving forward.
An Adaptable Trainer Rises Above the Rest
Often, a dedicated personal trainer spends several hours planning and designing the perfect workout session for their goal-oriented client. What happens when the client shows up for their training session and tells the coach that they did not get a good night’s sleep and have not eaten well all week?
Learning to deal with the unexpected and how to immediately pivot to Plan B or, if necessary, Plan C, turns a good trainer into a great leader. Adaptability forces a coach to learn how to “read the room”, thereby creating an opportunity to meet the client’s current vibe/conditions, in order to still provide them with a stellar and successful training hour. Knowing when to set aside a planned session to hit one’s personal best and downshift to high volume with low weights goes a long way toward serving your client’s needs, regardless of what the trainer previously had in mind.
All the Ducks in a Row = Organization
Sometimes clients place a stronger emphasis on the question, Can I depend on you?” than on any inquiries regarding whether they can lose 10 pounds by next month. Clients place a tremendous value on a trainer’s level of accountability, just as much as a trainer insists that their clients remain accountable for showing up and giving their best efforts each and every session.
Such organizational skills do not come naturally to many of us. They require work and practice. Below, we list some of the more important concepts new trainers can work on to successfully communicate a sense of organization to their clients:
- Adopt a level of preparedness that allows you to feel truly “present” at each session
- Anticipate potential pitfalls/have a plan
- Demonstrate proactive behaviors: arrive at each session with a well-planned workout ready to meet the client’s individual needs/goals
- Budget your time; schedule back-to-back clients with a small break in between, to guarantee each client receives their trainer’s full time with undivided attention
- Prioritize follow-through: if a client asks a question for which the trainer does not have an immediate answer, tell them you will do your best to find out what they want, and then commit to doing so in a time-efficient manner
Leadership Skills
When deciding on a personal trainer or even a sports coach, keep in mind that clients have many options. Sometimes each personal trainer at a gym offers a unique skill set; sometimes one trainer’s availability seems more open than another’s. Whatever the reason, a client ultimately wants to know, “Why should I choose YOU?”
A true leader strives to please; to do so, they must evolve into the person the client WANTS to follow. Leadership qualities sometimes take a few sessions with a client to truly emerge. Once again, accountability matters greatly here. Experts suggest that novice personal trainers go so far as to look into a mirror and ask themselves, “Am I the kind of trainer that I would trust to make me as successful as possible?”
One of the most important tenets of a good leader involves providing inspiration for their clientele. This can take the form of leadership by example. Demonstrating to a client that you would never ask them to try an exercise that you would not do yourself shows them your level of dedication. We can consider this type of leadership/influence as “bringing a client along on your journey”, which for many individuals feels more appropriate than simply having a trainer along for the client’s journey.
The way trainers speak to their clients can make them feel either engaged or defeated. Repeatedly pointing out faults such as poor form will, over time, lead to discouragement and fading motivation. Conversely, a personal trainer who provides guidance and feedback tailored to their client can help them push through those “I simply cannot” moments. To do this, a coach must possess the leadership qualities to understand the client’s goals and build their mental confidence alongside their physique.
Leaders excel at instilling lifelong habits into their clients’ lifestyles. A trainer who leads well can help a hesitant client shift their mindset, making exercise something they look forward to rather than a chore or task they must complete.
Keeping the Person in Personal Training
The person-centered care approach in training takes into account the whole person, not merely their biceps and triceps. The term “person” acknowledges a human being’s rights, recognizing that a human being consists of several very human dimensions:
- Intellectual
- Environmental
- Spiritual
- Socio-cultural
- Emotional
- Physical
In providing power-skills-driven, person-centered care, trainers learn to consider all these elements while simultaneously meeting and even exceeding their clients’ needs and goals.
The Platform of Enriched Coaching
An enriched coach/personal trainer knows how to take care of their clients’ sensitivities. We can define an enriched leadership style as that of a trainer who offers a socially interactive, pleasant, and energetic experience. This type of trainer excels at encouragement and gives positive feedback on their clients’ performances. Enriched trainers address participants by name, find ways to show interest in general conversation either before or after a session, offer specific reinforcement, and focus less on mistakes and more on rewarding effort.
Today’s personal trainers need not only to have command of their subject but also of their social skills. One specific strategy, designed to positively influence the emotional response of exercise participants, capitalizes on improving the trainer’s ability to motivate the participants individually during training sessions. One such aspect of competence could be the coach’s ability to establish a good relationship with the participants. One research study drew a correlation between the coach–athlete relationship and the motivation of participating athletes: the athlete’s perceptions of their specific relationship with their trainer had a significant correlation with how strongly they perceived motivation driven by the coach.
Some define an enriched leadership style as one characterized by social interaction and pleasantness. Empathy falls into the subcategory of social–emotional competences, closely connected to context sensitivity and perception competence. Another subcategory, self-management, requires a trainer’s ability to organize and manage their own emotional states. A coach who lacks enthusiasm cannot convey enthusiasm to their clients. A third subcategory, relationship management, aims to create a partnership between the participant and the trainer, based on communication (verbal/nonverbal) between the two, as well as mutual cooperation (again, verbal/nonverbal).
As we have learned, personal trainers can substantially influence their clients’ psychological well-being. By honing the soft skills mentioned in this article, trainers may even increase their earning potential as they rise to the top of the list for clients wanting to build lasting relationships with their trainers. We must recognize that while technical knowledge and certifications certainly have their place, perfecting the soft skills can set exceptional trainers apart from the rest.
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